1) I am ATTENTION-SEEKING
I do like to be looked at. I am a bit of a performer. Not always, but quite
often. One of my favourite parts about teaching is the performing- I like to
make my classes laugh, to keep them hooked on silly stories and ideas and
things. I like to entertain.
Less so as I’ve got older, but it’s still there to some extent. I do it a bit with clothes too- I use clothes (or sometimes lack thereof) to get attention.
And I get a bit jealous if someone is wearing something better than what I’m wearing on Halloween or whatever, or more usually if they’re somehow managing to wear less than I am.
Yes, I’m a little better than I used to be- I literally lived on attention when I was 19- but I still enjoy being the entertainer a little too much, and I still get a little jealous when people are better and more successful at it than I am.
Less so as I’ve got older, but it’s still there to some extent. I do it a bit with clothes too- I use clothes (or sometimes lack thereof) to get attention.
And I get a bit jealous if someone is wearing something better than what I’m wearing on Halloween or whatever, or more usually if they’re somehow managing to wear less than I am.
Yes, I’m a little better than I used to be- I literally lived on attention when I was 19- but I still enjoy being the entertainer a little too much, and I still get a little jealous when people are better and more successful at it than I am.
2) I am OBSESSED WITH GETTING THE CREDIT
I need to feel that my contributions are acknowledged. I hate the thought that people might not know that a particular outcome, success or product came from me- or worse still, that they believe it was the work of someone else. I actively seek out credit for my work- presenting things for people’s perusal, usually under the pretext of uncertainty and checking it’s suitable, when I know full-well it is amazing, but I want them to see I did it.It’s not an attractive trait, but something inside me needs recognition for my achievements. Perhaps someone long ago stole the credit for something I did and it caused irreparable damage to my brain?
3) I am MATERIALISTIC
I know it’s terrible, but I’m actually really shallow about money, cars, houses and materialistic crap. I know it doesn’t count for much in the final analysis, and I would never be an arse to people for something so stupid as money, or meaningless status symbols...BUT...
I am a little bit fond of my status symbols. I love the fact I have a really nice, fairly posh house by the sea. I love my wanky, pretentious convertible. I love putting on nice clothes and going out for posh dinners and eating swanky, fiddly, over-priced, delicious food. And I would never look down on, or be mean to someone who didn’t or couldn’t do that. Christ- most of my friends are terminally short of cash! But it is sort of important to me that I can do those things.
It’s not so bad- I work really hard, in a challenging job, so I can have nice things. But sometimes I worry I’m a bit preoccupied with how much I earn relative to others, and that I’m a little too hung up on things because it looks good.
There you have it. I’m a shallow, materialistic,
attention-hungry credit hog.
I'm very shy and retiring.
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