Day 25: Something someone told you about yourself that you’ll never forget (#BEDM).

You may have picked up by now that I am not a deeply spiritual person.

I don’t believe in ghosts, I don’t believe in the baby Jesus, I don’t Believe In Life After Love.

But at a particular club night that I particularly enjoy on a particularly regular basis, they sometimes have an enormous-breasted hostess and entertainer, who occasionally likes to read fortunes.

So I went for it.

I thought it would be ironic and amusing and comedic and... well, silly. For this is the tone of the particular club night in question.

AND OH MY GOD, SHE TOOK IT SO SERIOUSLY.

So I took it seriously, and whilst it wasn’t a deeply spiritual experience, and was more akin to life-coaching than anything else, it did stay with me. Like an expert therapist she had my measure in short order, and broke through my not insubstantial mental defences and my protective shell of irony to cut through to my soft, marshmallowy middle.

We started off like this:

And we ended up like this:

And her advice?

STOP OVER THINKING EVERYTHING.

STOP TRYING TO CONTROL EVERYTHING.

IF YOU CAN'T JUST ACCEPT THAT CERTAIN THINGS JUST HAPPEN

THEN YOU'LL NEVER BE HAPPY.

Whoa!!! Stop right there.

This echoes my Simon Amstell/Acceptance epiphany I’d had a few weeks prior, but was more scary because she said it RIGHT TO MY FACE, and KNEW that was where my brain was at. If you’d asked me the source of all my worry and anxiety, and why I was so frustrated with work, it would have been THIS. And it took her about 4 minutes to coil her tentacles around my cerebellum and play her beautiful music into my frontal cortex. She was so right...

So heed these words, gentle reader: Beware of busty ladies reading fortunes. Their keen insight may not be mystical in nature, but they have GOT. YOUR. NUMBER.