Day 12: What do you miss?

I miss sunny summer days growing up.

I’m not trying to be twee. But there was this certain feeling I can recall only fleetingly – a distant taste of a memory – of walking home from junior school in blazing sunshine; the smell of cut grass and knowing that you could go and play outside or sit in the garden or have ice in your drink. Probably on the last day of the Summer term, I expect.

I can’t even remember it really. Not entirely. Only the feeling I got.

Being carefree and feeling liberated and having no demands on your time.

And I miss it...

And it evolved as I got older.

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

Fast forward six years, to the end of secondary school. I no longer participate in PE lessons, due to *ahem* ...medical reasons. Instead, I spend those sunny, summer afternoons lying on the grass at the edge of the school field with all the girls who are inexplicably on their period again, watching the boys play cricket with their tops off, wearing just trainers and tiny white shorts.

We sit and ogle, though I am discreet, and flick through Sugar magazine and talk about pop music.

Great days, and a feeling of excitement, acceptance and the complete absence of worries.

What do I miss?

Carefree , sunny, summer days. And whilst my carefree, sunny summer holidays have not changed much as an adult, and I am still pretty much untroubled by life, the feeling itself- that taste of a memory of a feeling.... 

I’m unable to recapture it as it was.