Which 3 things have you been meaning to do for ages?

Tricky, tricky, tricky.

See, I’m a doer- I get things done.  Well – most of the time. I’m only human, after all. But I don’t like lingering jobs. Between my enthusiasm for getting up, getting out and getting stuff done and @superlative’s administrative power, we are quite efficient. Nothing gets left for too long.

We may well look ridiculous now, if he says completely the opposite, and there are loads of lingering things to do on his list.

But I doubt there will be.  We are a powerhouse of efficiency and organisation.

Even weird stuff, like my sit-ups and press-ups regimen, which oscillates a bit depending what social engagements require me to get my kit off, never lapses too much.  I’m a bit lazy at the moment, but still doing quite a bit. I’m not in the shape I was last summer, but it’s not radically different. I never leave it too long, or get too sloppy.

And I want to do things like play Resident Evil 2 (PS1!!) again.  Which will take a few hours, and I haven’t yet, but I will.  But it’s not exactly something I’ve been meaning to do for ages and ages though.

So this list is going to look a bit pathetic, and will be populated by things that really aren’t very important (all that shit gets done right away), or aren’t very interesting, or things I can’t do for specific reasons. So here we go...

1) Paint the house.

Actually, I did that.  I need to do Simon’s bathroom, but then we’re done. But it’s made the list because it sat NOT getting done for 3 years.  But I found a free day the other day and caned our fairly massive living room, which took hours and was back-breaking.  But there you go.  I’m efficient. I need one more free day and Mission: HousePaint will be complete. (I told you it wasn’t very exciting.)

2) Hoover my car.

Wow, it’s a thrill-ride on here today!  The excitement is palpable! Yeah – I keep my car looking nice because I am kind of OBSESSED WITH MY CAR.  I don’t have a child.  I don’t WANT a child.  But my car is my baby. But with Brighton being Brighton, and us being right by the seafront, parking is a bit involved. I can’t get the hoover to reach out into the street where I park, even when I’m directly outside. So my poor Thunderbolt has to wait until his annual MOT and service for the nice people at Renault to hoover out his innards.

3) Comics.

This is kind of stupid, but I can draw.  As you know, I love comics, and I used to draw lots of comicy things back in the day.  All the time in fact. And I was alright – pretty good, when it went well, though there are always some ropey productions. I’ve ALWAYS been meaning to draw an actual comic.  I’ve had a vague storyline chopping and changing and being slowly edited away in my head for about 15 years, and I always mean to spend one summer putting pen to paper and making it finally happen.  Nothing too epic, just a one shot intro to a story I’ve thought about. Twenty pages maybe -  just a single book that is self contained but introduces a larger story.

This is my real putter-offer. It may not happen, as it is quite an enterprise, and there are always other things to do in the holidays, like play Resident Evil 2, do sit-ups and paint the house. But I hope one day I actually get it done.  It isn’t important, so it moves down the list, but it would be nice to see it come to fruition one day...

Some old (OLD!) prelim panels of some comicy bits I was thinking about writing...

Which superhero do you identify with and why?

This is an easy one. I am mega-obsessed with super-heroes, comics and all that shiz. But let me tell you the story first...

I grew up with ‘Transformers UK’ comics -  still the finest comics ever written, bar none. I pretty much know the entire run, word for word, from start to finish. 

I don’t know why.

I graduated to Spiderman in the late 80s, I think after reading a review of, then buying, then playing (for hours) the Spider-Man game on Sega Master System. It was a bit of a life-changer. This was when I ventured from the love of Transformers comics solely (which was inherited from my brother) to full-blown comic geekdom. I never looked back. It expanded and evolved from Spider-Man to X-Men, to god knows where... I now collect so many titles it’s not even funny.

It’s really not.  It’s an expensive hobby.

Spider-man and X-Men are an interesting pair though.  Superhero comics in general, but these two lines in particular are eternally popular with teenage males (obviously), but especially with gay, black and Jewish teenage males.

Care to venture an opinion why? Secret identities, hiding your true nature, inherent differences you can’t control – that you may have been born with – but that set you apart.  Kept hidden for fear of ignorant or violent reactions from those around you.

The math isn’t hard. No wonder the gays love their X-Men.  The parallel is drawn constantly, but is very real and very tangible. They elude to it constantly in the films and books.

But the ones I really love? The one I identify with the most? 

I like the ones who don’t act like heroes. Who aren’t kind and just and brave. I like them because they’re actually very real- ruthless, troubled, introspective, fearless, merciless, untrusting, desperate, damaged, greedy, driven, vulnerable

I like Magneto. And I like Death’s Head.

They’re not written like comic characters at all. They’re written like people, despite the amazing powers and crazy adventures. They’re heroes (most of the time) and you root for them, but they’re not very nice people.  They’re flawed. They’re just like... people.

Except one is a giant robot, but you get the idea.

  

Day 4: Favourite quote and why you love it.

Tricky, tricky, tricky.

It’s too difficult to decide on just one. There are so many amazing quotes, and so many different types and different reasons to love them. So many I trot out without realising. Even Tricky, tricky, tricky is from The Craft, and I find myself unwittingly quoting it whenever something is, well... tricky.

So I will have to settle and choose a couple. But in the spirit of good sportsmanship, I will draw on different types I love for different reasons, rather than endlessly harping on about kick-ass characters delivering amazing lines from comics and TV programmes.

3) Magneto

"I wear red, the color of blood, in tribute to their lost lives. And the harder I try to cast it aside, to find the gentler path, the more irresistibly I am drawn back. I should have died myself with those that I loved. Instead I carted the bodies by the hundreds, by the thousands, from the death house to the crematorium, and the ashes to the burial ground. Asking myself now what I could not then—Why was I spared?" ~ Uncanny X-Men #274

There are endless amazing magneto quotes. Some of them just rock-hard cool and awesome, when he goes all biblical and kick-ass. But this one is a bit special because it separates Magneto from your typical comic book baddy. There’s a reason he does what he does, and even though he’s cast as the bad guy, they twist and subvert traditional good/evil expectations and you end up identifying with him. 

 
He goes to extreme lengths and is relentless in his battle to protect his species, but there’s always a justifiable rationale for his actions and a wounded, abused child-holocaust-survivor driving them.

"The thing none of you will ever understand is that there are no sides. There are no heroes or villians. There's just what I want and how I'll get it." 

More kick-ass magneto quotes.

2) V for Vendetta

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage – no mere veneer of vanity – is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one-day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

This is nice just because it enshrines the cleverness of the book and film so succinctly. Vs, 5s and Es appear throughout both as a recurring motif, and this scene encapsulates it beautifully as V talks to Evey (EV) for the first time, using 48 V words, then repeating E...V... as he hears her name, and slashing a V on the wall.

They are literally stuffed everywhere in the book and film, some subtle, some far from it- but it is super fun spotting them. Beethoven’s 5th gets a few outings, and clock times make use of 11:05 (5th of November connotations, and a neat V in analogue time). It really is beautifully constructed.

An amazing film too. Always makes me wonder if I’d be one of the brave ones to march in protest and make a difference, or if I’d be at home cowering under a blanket.

1) Simon Amstell

Amid my squealing comic book fanboydom, I also wanted to include something that actually made a difference to me. And from such an unexpected quarter too. We saw Simon Amstell in stand up about 3 years ago, and amazingly funny it was too. But along with all the hilarity I went away having learned a powerful lesson that has stayed with me ever since, and has actually changed the way I think and react to a considerable number of events: Acceptance. A lesson from a London cab driver.

"He said to me: ‘Well, is there anything you can do about it?’
And I said ‘No there's nothing I can do. It's a real injustice.’
And he said ‘Acceptance.’
‘What do you mean, whispering wise cab driver?’
And he explained so absurdly simply that if there's nothing you can do about something, then you do nothing.
And in that moment the feeling of injustice, the frustration was lifted, it was gone. There was nothing to do... 

...You can't change other people. All you can do is let go of your limited perception of them."

And that was it. I went back to school on the Monday, ACCEPTING that there are some things I can control, and some things I really can’t. Not that you give up trying altogether, naturally... The things you can change, you do- I try to make their school lives positive and consistent. But I no longer beat myself up for being unable to change the life of a child whose parents abuse, neglect or otherwise fuck with their lives. I accept that I can’t change the behaviour of other people- you just do what you can.

And you know what? 

As you can see, I’m a lot happier*.

  

*Also a quote- Jack Nicholson’s Joker: Batman, 1990