Day 8: Make us want you...

Hah.

When I was 20*, I just used to post shirtless pictures, and the denizens of OUTintheUK would all say nice things about me, or proposition me for sex, or offer me money to watch me masturbate furiously before the cold, hard, lifeless stare of their digital lens. Or sometimes, if I was lucky, all three.

And I won’t lie. I kind of liked it. It was flattering and fun and exciting. (I never took the money- FYI.)**

But always done with a pinch of humour. I wasn’t *just* being a vacuous attention whore. I’d like to think I was pretty amusing at the same time. I think I was. But I did like being wanted.

And now I’ve grown up, and I don’t post *quite* as many shirtless pictures. Though those linked to me on Facebook will doubtless disagree.

Now I have to rely on charm, wit and my kind, selfless, caring nature.

I have stopped worrying about being wanted as well. It used to be a big deal. It really isn’t now. Now I have to settle for being stable and solvent and interesting and friendly and witty and amusing. Ironically, I honestly think I was actually far more witty and amusing back in those days though. When I had time to be, probably.

It is nice not to be so preoccupied with impressing people and trying to be appealing, sexually or otherwise, though. But I sort of think I’ve grown into my looks in a way. I’m probably a more appealing package these days than I was when I was 20. And I only take my shirt off nowdays, and rely on my slim, tanned, athletic body, if it’s absolutely essential.***

*and maybe a few years beyond...

**I was giving it away.

***to the fee.

Any time, at your convenience.

Dressing Down

It was my birthday a couple of weeks ago. We had a Dead Celebrity Party.

It’s always kind of stressful labelling anything a party. It’s not like parties you see on television, with hundreds of people, disco lighting, red plastic cups everywhere and beautiful people dancing crazy all night.

That’s just not how it works in real life. Though it did end up a little like that, by the end...

But we had about 16 or so due, so with a couple of no-shows, we had a nice little crowd. Certainly enough to fill up the space, and you know what?  We had a FUCKING GOOD TIME.

And, as ever, Fancy Dress is a total win, and people made some amazing effort.

As is traditional now, my fancy dress involved wearing as little as possible, whilst simultaneously selecting an obscure but amusing celebrity who died in an undignified and amusing way.  That was sort of the point really. Anyone can dress as a dead guy- but finding someone whose death was particularly significant, unusual or untimely is the real skill.

I was Lolo Ferrari, of porn, modelling and Eurotrash fame- she died of a mix of drugs, suspected murder (for a time) and spinal collapse on account of her enormous rack.

There really is no better option for a Dead Celebrity for someone who enjoys getting it all out.

So that's what I did.

Gentlemen prefer slutty blondes...

 Our only miscalculation was that once dressed like that, we weren’t going out anywhere...

Day 28: Only pictures... ADVENTURES IN DRESSING UP/DOWN (#BEDM).

ADVENTURES IN DRESSING UP/DOWN