Kettering is...

Apparently nothing.

Even Google won’t auto-complete with anything interesting or amusing.

KETTERING IS OFFICIALLY BORING.

On Wednesday, I have to get up at 4.30am, pick up two colleagues, then drive for 3 hours to go to Kettering. There is nothing nice about Kettering. If you haven’t heard of it, there’s a reason; if you have heard of it, it’s because it somehow manages, simultaneously, to be both horrible and boring.

I am to go to a TEACCH course.  This is a course to teach you all about how to teach children with autism. Something I know a little bit about- I used to be an advisor on autism for mainstream schools one day a week. The other 4 days were spent teaching children with autism.

Not to say you can’t learn more... but looking at the programme- it doesn’t bode well.

“Did you know, some young people with autism don’t like changes to their routines?”

Well fuck me with a brick- I *did* know!

But I am being sent nevertheless. It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t

a) Miles away

b) Starting at 8.30 in the morning

Also, some friends went and did the same course a while back- said it was good, but they were there in a little group. I’m going with two old ladies.

It is going to be BORING.

Three days!?! 

And after getting up so early and driving for 3 hours (which always wipes me) I’m so going to be zoned out for the first day anyway.

Why can’t they just run the course in London like normal people?

I’m going to have to take secret hotel booze and secret hotel porn with me to get me through the week. Then explain to my old lady colleagues as to why I have no interest in sitting in the dubious Holiday Inn lounge drinking tea because I have massive amounts of pornography to watch.

I don’t want to go to Kettering. 

I want to stay at home and sit on my massive sofa and watch Game of Thrones and drink cocktails.